scsunshine40

I just had the most amazing thing happen. I was in the Biggest Loser forum typing about my before pics for the challenge and was given the most wonderful gift from God. I realized that a lot of my problems with my weight are because I fail to finish projects, not because they are too hard, but because I’m scared to finish them. I can’t tell you why, but I intend to explore this.

 When I was in high school I was the typical teenage girl. I loved doing make-up and hair. In my junior year I signed up for cosmetology class and passed the state test my senior year. I worked in a salon for 3 months and quit. I worked at wal-mart the next 5 years and up until almost 9 years ago I was from job to job, all over the map.  I was a wife, and stay at home mom of 2 daughters until my ex husband decided he needed to “find himself” so he found himself at a lawyers office and filed for divorce and remarried within a month. Meanwhile, I figured I’ll go back to work at wal-mart and go back to school to be a social worker. I worked at wal-mart for 1 year and a half until a better opportunity came along. At the same time I took two classes and quit college, after making excuses for myself that I didn’t need a full fledged degree to do the job I was doing (only 12 semester hours and 2 activity courses). During all of this time I just kept gaining weight. I blamed it on my being too lazy to excercise and having children. So , I worked for a nursing home for 5 years as an activities director (lol the irony) and absolutely loved the job. I love working with the elderly - they have seen so many things in their lifetimes. Anyway, I am 6 college credits away from being nationally certified and I stopped taking the classes. Stopped going to the workshops and never renewed my membership the the state organization for fellow activity directors.

I guess what it all boils down to is that I need to make some major decisions not only about my food intake and my excercise program, but also about how to overcome being afraid to fail. I’ll be exploring this a bit more over the next few weeks and post some goals and some other things that will assist me in this journey of self discovery.

Take care everyone….. go out and face something that you are afraid of today!